Here's a clip I recorded from that rehearsal! The track's name is "Yo Ho Ho!"

Click here to go to audio! (youtube link)

After that, Tuesday! I went to go to ANOTHER rehearsal, but this time out of school! I'm part of a program, which I just have advanced in to go into the next program, which is more of a performance deal! Anyways, the first rehearsal/meet for it was on Tuesday, and I met my new bandmates! They're pretty nice, I think. I'm not sure I fit in quite perfectly. But I hope we'll all get along well!

On Wednesday, I got told I got forced into the orchestra...! Which, I mean, convenient, cause now I don't have to audition next year, but I guess the orchestra director just decided not to tell me he decided I was part of the orchestra now?? So, anyways, it turns out that SAME day we were due to have a rehearsal! Which is CRAZY I haven't even looked at the music at that point? No chance to?? And the director put my with the TOP flute of the state?? What the frig, folks. Cooked. Luckily rehearsal was cancelled fifteen minutes after I was informed in my ninth period that I was supposed to attend it. So yay I think??

The rest of the week not much else happened. OH! Wait, actually, I think me and my friends might go hiking next weekend, which is amazing news! I love hiking, despite what looks may tell you. It's gonna be wonderful to be out doing something with some friends. I can't wait.

In other news, I'm to have my first ever physical on Tuesday. I'm a bit nervous about it. Not sure what to expect. Also I hate being confronted with my problems. But that's all for now! Thanks for reading!

I'll be updating this every day from now on.

Narrative thought of the day! (Or, week in this case, lol)

• Who says I can't have my cake and eat it, too?

Alrighty, so, thinking back, I did some stuff last week. I went to rehearsals for various stuff Monday through Thursday. Thursday was an exciting one, though! It was my first time playing with the orchestra group! I was sort of scared, cause I thought the top flute in our state, that I have to pair with for the piece I was invited to play, would be there, but luckily he was at regional band lol. Anywhos. It was very exciting! Sushal, the other floutist recruited was there along with me, which was fun! I think he may have been a bit mad that I had gotten the first part, rather than the second that he had gotten. But, I look at it as just honestly and genuinely us being here to fill out the ensemble sound evenly. Whatever part gets assigned to a person really means nothing at all. Okay, orchestra segment done.

Aaaand now time for the pit orchestra thoughts! I had rehearsal on Sunday, which was also exciting! We had our first sitsprobe with the cast! Pretty much, it's a joint ensemble of both the pit and the onstage performers so that we can get used to eachother in a musical sense. I really enjoyed hearing that missing piece of the puzzle we were missing prior being sung by the actors. The day after, so, Monday, so, also yesterday at the time of writing this was ANOTHER sitsprobe! The second one! Honestly, much more enjoyable the second time around. We got to be in the pit, the performers got to perform onstage, very fun! It's funny to be playing something only to look behind you to see a seven person human pyramid that's formed during the current musical number. Which really happened! Kind of caught me off guard, actually.

And for last, Tuesday! That's today for me. Started the day off with gym class, where we played some sort of supersized version of volleyball. It was fun, but not neccessarily my favorite haha. Some of my friends and I finalized some plans for a 10 mile hiking trip a week and a half from now. Hopefully we're able to bring ourselves to finish the trail. After gym, it was time for band. I can't say we actually played very much today lol. We're working on a piece called "Heaven's Light", which is pretty decent by all accord! The saxes had a bit of trouble and Lrw, our primary director, went off on them for about 25 minutes on not being physically able to play together. And that's the end of class! Next up, history. Learning about the halocaust, which is very tragic and important to learn about, actually. That said, I MAY have fallen asleep during the documentary... oh well! Lunchtime! I sat with Kn, as always, and we had a nice jolly great wow time. Not much to say, honestly. Oh! Actually, here's an emotional segway. At almost all times, I am incredibly, inhumanely insecure. The worry I experience about my own body has genuinely got to be incomprehensible to a regular person. I'd say I'm decently overweight, and, for this reason, every time I eat more than one meal per day, I very much belittle myself to the point of intense sadness. Every day, at lunch, I get so close to skipping lunch along with breakfast, but usually end up getting it anyways. I feel horrible for it. I'm thinking that maybe I ought to stop doing that in an attempt to lose some weight so that I can look nice in our new band uniforms we're getting this year. Side note, I wonder if all this musical pressure I place on myself is born on such a deep well of self worthlessness that I try to compensate for by being helpful, in the sense that I can do a skilled or valauable activity. Course, I adore music, I don't know what I'd do without it, but, still. I think that might be it. Anyways, math test! I really didn't study very much, even thought I ought to have studied more. I think I did okay, but, I really, really need this grade. I'm currently failing in that, and ONLY that class. If I could have managed to get an okay grade, it might just bump me into passing territory, so here's hoping. Theeenn bio! I chatted with my friend Hvn, and yknow, swapped notes, I helped her understand the topic, whatever. I really like biology, actually. I've always had a nice time in there, probably due to having a friend who's so similar to me + our teacher being psychotic to the point of making the class easy since he never gives us real tests. Finally, finish the day out with english! We're getting back into the swing of reading "To Kill a Mockingbird." I'm really enjoying the book so far! I feel the idea of reading a book/experiencing scenarios and things from the context of a young child leads to many potentially interesting things and fun misunderstandings. You really need to consider things from someone maybe not as knowing as your average person.

And, okay, I swear this time, ACTUALLY finally, I go to another rehearsal! This time, for the rock program I'm in outside of school. I'm mostly taking it to expand my expertise and get some new situations thrown at me + differnt musician culture and instuemnts. I'm on the guitar there. Some of the folks are REALLY very good! I'm very impressed with their playing! Much greater than my own at the moment, but, we'll get there eventually. It's sort of hard to talk to people there, since they all know eachother already, and have that sort of... normal teenageness to them that I really, really lack. I just don't quite fit in. They're all very nice, of course, but visually and just in the way we all hold ourselves, I'm easy to pick out, I think. Hopefully I can get a bit closer to our show's group by the time we all go onstage. It was a fun rehearsal, though! Played through some of the songs I was assigned on, obv, and I'm gonna make a note to learn all of them to completion by the end of the week. I want to be as good as I can as early as I can in order to cement myself and hold up the smaller ensembles for whatever song I'm listed to play in. After about four hours, my father came to pick me up.

He had just gotten his car fixed up, and it really felt and sounded great to be in! Those mechanics did a great job. He doens't say anything, but I think he's trying to prime it so that I can drive it when I finish applying for my liscence. It feels weird. I feel like I'm stepping over and out of whatever bit of childhood I had. Anyways, my dad and I started talking and, suddenly, he brings up that he's not sure if he'll be able to keep the house that mostly I live in. He just lost another three hundred dollars per paycheck from the company he works for slowly losing money, and to pay rent, he has to use almost two and a half paychecks just to keep the lights on over here. It's really scary. I don't know what we'll do with our dog, since he's probably too bad to have to bring over to Km's, his girlfriend of two years house, where we all partially live. And, I need to stay in my school's district. If I had to transfer, I would lose everything I've been building over the years. I really, really, need to stay here. But I feel so guilty to be the thing that's essentially keeping him paying for this house. He keeps urging me to get a liscence. Maybe I really ought to finally apply for one and see if I can help pay somehow. I say that even thought I realistically know I would never actually do that. Well, thanks for reading! I hope you had a good day!